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The old one started calling me again and I told him I had a boyfriend now, but he kept calling me.

I went to his house thinking maybe I would give “us” another chance.

I also found out that once I got tired of it and wouldn’t see him anymore, well, by that time I think he’d built up his other relationship sufficiently.

He contacted me two days after he realized I really meant it about not wanting to do things on his terms anymore to tell me we should not be in contact anymore at all. So, if it’s on his terms, find out what’s goin’ on behind the scenes…

This was vexing, as I am a planner, and liked to know when I’d be seeing him so I could schedule friends at other times. I did ask the question more often, as I wanted to know at least 24 hours in advance.

I’d explained to him that I’d like a few days notice, and sometimes he’d comply but mostly it was more spur of the moment.

My friend pointed out that control issues can lead to abuse issues, so to watch out. Although it was interesting to observe potentially controlling behavior in another, as my ex accused me of being controlling.

I met a new guy and that is the one I am dating now.And I realized he wasn’t as wonderful as I thought he was when I was dating him.That the guy I have now is a better guy who gives me more of what I want.She continued, “He wants you on his terms — when and where it works for him. If only one of you is compromising, then the power is unbalanced.While he makes a modicum of effort to appear to address your needs, he really pulls the strings.” “Yes, he wants me on his terms. One of you will feel put upon and disrespected.” The key is to be cognizant of how much compromising each of you is making to keep it somewhat in balance.I also believe that lovers should be best friends and if you don’t know why this guy only calls you every once in a while, you don’t know him that well.